Andrew & Esther - Through Our Eyes Archive
Archived Thoughts
Beijing buzz (June 5, 2008)
emotion in China (May 25, 2008)
what 1 Euro could buy you if you came to visit (May 11, 2008)
on visa-runs and escaping hotel fires (May 4, 2008)
recent observations & discoveries (April 30, 2008)
on ordering water and near tricycle collisions (April 16, 2008)
on learning Chinese and on how to catch a bad flu at the park (April 10, 2008)
highlights (April 9, 2008)
Foreign media must have Facebook access during Olympics, IOC tells China (April 2, 2008)
Home Sweet Home (March 26, 2008)
Then and Now (March 26, 2008)
stranded bags! (March 8, 2008)
on visas, weddings, how to get free food & funny hair dos (March 4, 2008)
Warm greetings! (February 12, 2008)
A Whole New World (February 5, 2008)
Newness in the New Year (January 6, 2008)
The Feast of Life (November 23, 2007)
Our Paris (November 11, 2007)
A Freezing Wilderness Retreat (October 22, 2007)
Reflections from a Recovering Bride (October 8, 2007)
Mr. and Mrs. Brumme (September 29, 2007)
One Month and Counting (August 22, 2007)
Everything French (July 19, 2007)
Open Wide Your Mouths! (July 9, 2007)
Learning from Trees (July 3, 2007)
A City of Lights - The Paris of Central Europe (June 25, 2007)
Brumme's Descend on Europe (June 8, 2007)
I Said Yes! (May 13, 2007)
Liaisons and Goodness Abound (April 22, 2007)
Gourmet Cuisine Catastrophe (March 21, 2007)
It Really Has Been Too Long This Time (March 15, 2007)
The French Postal System, V-Day, and Other Tidbits (February 21, 2007)
Celebrating in Paris, Working in Oxford & Relaxing in the Alps (January 29, 2007)
With Ma Petite Amie at Last! (January 11, 2007)
Hanging on for the Ride (December 31, 2006)
A New Life (December 18, 2006)
I've Gotta Go See About a Girl (November 23, 2006)
On France (November 10, 2006)
Liberating Love, an Awkward Transition and Christmas Candy (November 1, 2006)
The Western Bible (October 20, 2006)
The Whole Church Gathered (October 3, 2006)
On Steve Irwin (September 7, 2006)
Lewis on Happiness (August 10, 2006)
The Tragic "Unthinkable Crisis" (July 27, 2006)
Not My Life (July 6, 2006)
The Two Year Reunion (June 10, 2006)
A Fishy Story Set Right (May 26, 2006)
Response to "The Wedding Planner" by Sagers (April 30, 2006)
White Bunnies and Bloody Lambs (April 14, 2006)
Flexing Our Political Muscle (March 22, 2006)
For Your Viewing Pleasure (March 7, 2006)
Come to Our Church! (February 21, 2006)
Peanuts and Airplanes (February 15, 2006)
Confessing My Ignorance (January 30, 2006)
The Jewish Kid Jesus (January 16, 2006)
Friends...A Dime a Dozen? (January 9, 2006)
Old Test Article Here (January 2, 2006)
So Much to Say...That Others Have Already Said (December 23, 2005)
Narnia - at last! (December 8, 2005)
Lewis on our Eating Disorder (December 1, 2005)
North Korea - Revealing the Darkness (November 20, 2005)
Shining - Like You've Never Seen it Before (November 15, 2005)
Are You Emerging? (November 3, 2005)
emotion in China (May 25, 2008)
what 1 Euro could buy you if you came to visit (May 11, 2008)
on visa-runs and escaping hotel fires (May 4, 2008)
recent observations & discoveries (April 30, 2008)
on ordering water and near tricycle collisions (April 16, 2008)
on learning Chinese and on how to catch a bad flu at the park (April 10, 2008)
highlights (April 9, 2008)
Foreign media must have Facebook access during Olympics, IOC tells China (April 2, 2008)
Home Sweet Home (March 26, 2008)
Then and Now (March 26, 2008)
stranded bags! (March 8, 2008)
on visas, weddings, how to get free food & funny hair dos (March 4, 2008)
Warm greetings! (February 12, 2008)
A Whole New World (February 5, 2008)
Newness in the New Year (January 6, 2008)
The Feast of Life (November 23, 2007)
Our Paris (November 11, 2007)
A Freezing Wilderness Retreat (October 22, 2007)
Reflections from a Recovering Bride (October 8, 2007)
Mr. and Mrs. Brumme (September 29, 2007)
One Month and Counting (August 22, 2007)
Everything French (July 19, 2007)
Open Wide Your Mouths! (July 9, 2007)
Learning from Trees (July 3, 2007)
A City of Lights - The Paris of Central Europe (June 25, 2007)
Brumme's Descend on Europe (June 8, 2007)
I Said Yes! (May 13, 2007)
Liaisons and Goodness Abound (April 22, 2007)
Gourmet Cuisine Catastrophe (March 21, 2007)
It Really Has Been Too Long This Time (March 15, 2007)
The French Postal System, V-Day, and Other Tidbits (February 21, 2007)
Celebrating in Paris, Working in Oxford & Relaxing in the Alps (January 29, 2007)
With Ma Petite Amie at Last! (January 11, 2007)
Hanging on for the Ride (December 31, 2006)
A New Life (December 18, 2006)
I've Gotta Go See About a Girl (November 23, 2006)
On France (November 10, 2006)
Liberating Love, an Awkward Transition and Christmas Candy (November 1, 2006)
The Western Bible (October 20, 2006)
The Whole Church Gathered (October 3, 2006)
On Steve Irwin (September 7, 2006)
Lewis on Happiness (August 10, 2006)
The Tragic "Unthinkable Crisis" (July 27, 2006)
Not My Life (July 6, 2006)
The Two Year Reunion (June 10, 2006)
A Fishy Story Set Right (May 26, 2006)
Response to "The Wedding Planner" by Sagers (April 30, 2006)
White Bunnies and Bloody Lambs (April 14, 2006)
Flexing Our Political Muscle (March 22, 2006)
For Your Viewing Pleasure (March 7, 2006)
Come to Our Church! (February 21, 2006)
Peanuts and Airplanes (February 15, 2006)
Confessing My Ignorance (January 30, 2006)
The Jewish Kid Jesus (January 16, 2006)
Friends...A Dime a Dozen? (January 9, 2006)
Old Test Article Here (January 2, 2006)
So Much to Say...That Others Have Already Said (December 23, 2005)
Narnia - at last! (December 8, 2005)
Lewis on our Eating Disorder (December 1, 2005)
North Korea - Revealing the Darkness (November 20, 2005)
Shining - Like You've Never Seen it Before (November 15, 2005)
Are You Emerging? (November 3, 2005)
A Life of Profound Significance (October 26, 2005)
The Earth at Your Fingertips (October 18, 2005)
A Surprise Appointment (October 15, 2005)
Wars and Rumors of Wars (October 3, 2005)
Laughing in the Rain (September 20, 2005)
Random Tid-Bits and Happenings (September 15, 2005)
Life and Death and Terrorists (August 30, 2005)
Girls and Boys and God (August 25, 2005)
Feasting and Worship (August 17, 2005)
Blogger's Block (August 6, 2005)
The Harvest in China (August 2, 2005)
Counting the Cost (July 24, 2005)
Absolutely Outstanding Bit of Writing (July 18, 2005)
Burning Alive (July 14, 2005)
Jesus and the Glory Golf Balls (July 10, 2005)
Those Things We Hold On To (July 7, 2005)
Grape Juice, Poured Out for the Forgiveness of Sin (June 30, 2005)
He Will Ruin Your Life (June 28, 2005)
A Bit of Perspective (June 25, 2005)
The Wedding Planner (June 22, 2005)
A Lesson in Patience Amidst Absurdity (June 16, 2005)
Fans of Hitler (June 15, 2005)
Crash and Stories (June 12, 2005)
Pastors and Leaders - Different Views (June 10, 2005)
Senior Pastors (June 5, 2005)
Ask and You Shall Receive (June 2, 2005)
What If (May 27, 2005)
The "Bible Study" (May 24, 2005)
The Future of Pixar (May 19, 2005)
The Mess We Christians Have Made (May 14, 2005)
Narnia Coming to the Big Screen (May 10, 2005)
Europe - Through the Lens of My Camera (May 7, 2005)
Same Sex Families (May 6, 2005)
Photos of Mercy (May 3, 2005)
Across an Ocean... (April 21, 2005)
The Picture, The Pope, and The Past Few Days (April 12, 2005)
In the Car with My (air) Guitar (April 6, 2005)
The Pope (April 4, 2005)
Resurrection Day (March 27, 2005)
Killing People (March 23, 2005)
Weekend of Surprises (March 22, 2005)
The Fray - Listen to this (March 12, 2005)
Akiane....This is Amazing (March 11, 2005)
Jesus Christ (March 8, 2005)
Worthy Thoughts on The Passion (March 7, 2005)
Dream Days at Church (March 3, 2005)
Peace Amidst Ambiguity (March 1, 2005)
A Verse I Hadn't Noticed Before (February 25, 2005)
McLaren and Hotel Rwanda...another perspective (February 19, 2005)
Brother Andrew is on to something (February 16, 2005)
My Valentine (February 14, 2005)
Homecoming...strange (February 13, 2005)
Hotel Rwanda (February 10, 2005)
The Update (February 6, 2005)
Malibu...Thailand...Palm Desert (January 1, 2005)
Get Ready Thailand...I'm Coming! (September 25, 2004)
God Speaks? Really? (May 29, 2004)
Life Beyond Graduation (May 1, 2004)
God's Faithfulness in Morocco (October 8, 2002)
Our Thoughts
December 1, 2005
Lewis on our Eating Disorder
I've been browsing through a book on C.S. Lewis and Narnia, and a few weeks ago I came across a chapter that stopped me in my tracks.

A little preface here - if you know me, you know I'm not really a guy with an impressive vocabulary. I still like to throw pugnacious into a conversation when I'm feeling the need to highlight my brilliance, as it is the one S.A.T. word I still remember. And yes, until recently pugnacious was the most impressive word in my vocabulary.

But after reading this chapter on Lewis and Narnia, a new word entered my vocab. You too can incorporate this word into your vocabulary - I'll get to it in a moment. (Although chances are you already use it and you're one of those people that talk over my head.)

Here is the quote I came across that seemed to be written for exactly what I've been processing lately:
Why are we not naturally conformed to God’s love? Our appetites have been misdirected, leading us to believe that there is a contradiction between God’s glory and our own happiness, that we cannot submit our lives to God and still have what we really want. “The ‘original’ sin is not primarily that man has ‘disobeyed’ God; the sin is that he ceased to be hungry for God and God alone,” wrote the Orthodox theologian Alexander Schmemann. “The only real fall of man is his non-eucharistic life in a non-eucharistic world.”


Okay so the quote sounds intelligent...maybe you skimmed it wondering what the new vocab word was...or maybe you only visit my website for a max of 90 seconds and you skipped the quote entirely. READ IT AGAIN. Slowly. Process it. Understand what you can. Then read on.

Let me tell you why this quote hit me. I've been struggling lately with whether or not God is really trustworthy. I mean, of course He is...if you've been raised in the church like I have, you know God is good, He is loving etc. etc. etc.. But it's a whole different ballgame to actually live like you really believe God is trustworthy.

I've got a lot of desires. I'd like to charge off and travel the world. I crave tasty food. I'd like a wife. And believe me, the list goes on.

You are probably familiar with these words of Jesus:
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." (Luke 9:23-24)
Frankly - this whole bit about denying yourself and losing your life for God isn't very appealing - especially if you don't trust Him.

And that's where my battle has been lately. Taking deliberate steps like fasting or turning away from the very things my flesh desires simply out of obedience to what I believe God is calling me to....has been difficult. It's been difficult because I don't fully trust that God loves me...I mean with the intense, unconditional love that we hear sermons and clever illustrations about.

Think about it. If we really believed that the God who spoke the whole word into existence loved us enough to SACRIFICE His own Son for us, wouldn't we be willing to give up everything and do anything without hesitation if He asked us to?

Stay with me here. This is where that quote that I read comes in. When Adam and Eve ate the fruit that God told them not to eat - our appetites got a bit messed up. At that moment, "the Fall", all we humans had an "eating disorder" woven into our genetic fabric. I'm not just talking about food here. I'm talking about everything we naturally desire, like my examples above. In the Garden of Eden, our appetites were "misdirected" towards these things (and others) - away from our one and only hunger - for God alone.

This is what happened in the Garden of Eden. Our appetites got messed up. And so, life as a follower of Jesus Christ is about correcting our "eating disorder". It's about learning to hunger for the one that ALONE can satisfy...the bread of LIFE. The great thing is, as we find all of our fulfillment in God alone, He give us these other things we desire...but in such a way and such a time that He is glorified, and we are blessed. This is life with Christ.

So as I read that quote that stirred something deep within me, I was compelled to find the article the quote was taken from. After digging around online, I found Between Heaven & Earth: C. S. Lewis on Asceticism & Holiness by David W. Fagerberg.

And so enters my new vocabulary word: asceticism. In this article Fagerberg brilliantly expands on asceticism through the works of C.S. Lewis. He puts it best when he says that asceticism is "whatever prepares us to be loved by God with [great] intensity".

Isn't that brilliant? The things that prepare us to trust God and receive His love...these are things that help us overcome our "eating disorder" and learn again to be hungry for Him alone. It is a painful process at times - things like fasting or abstaining from other things we desire or find fulfillment in. But going through such disciplines allow us to taste of God and see that He is truly good. As we do, our hunger turns away from these other things and it begins to grow for God.

By taking small ascetic steps, I've found that God's grace truly abounds in my life and little by little, I am learning to trust Him more and open myself up to His love. I've still got this "eating disorder"- but slowly and surely God is feeding me the bread of life and letting me drink from the streams of living water - so that I really will never hunger or thirst again. Praise God that there is enough of this bread and water to go around!

If this strikes any kind of a chord with you, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you read the full article I mentioned above: Between Heaven & Earth: C. S. Lewis on Asceticism & Holiness by David W. Fagerberg.